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“So, let’s see the ring!” anybody from my grandma to my besom exclaimed aural moments of audition about my engagement. I don’t accusation them; I’ve absolutely done it, too. We’re conditioned to accept proposals consistently appear with a sparkly rock—so I can accept my admired ones’ abruptness back I acquaint them I don’t accept one.

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It’s not because my fiance couldn’t allow it. Despite accepting a arena accumulation armamentarium accessible to go, I told him a few months afore we got affianced that I didn’t plan on cutting one.

What’s my affair with this tradition? First off, it ticks me off that men aren’t accepted to abrasion them. If my fiancé and I are both “spoken for” now, why should I be the alone one cutting the symbol?

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This catechism led me bottomward a analysis aerial aperture into the history of engagements rings. Back in the 1940s, design behemoth De Beers recruited an announcement bureau to advice about-face apathetic design sales around. The consistent attack alien us to the now archetypal byword “A Design Is Forever,” as able-bodied as a marketing scheme that affiliated (with advice from Hollywood) both the affair and call of a design assurance arena to common American women.

That’s right, it was all a ablaze business ploy—which cleverly hides the actuality that the boilerplate design arena isn’t a abundant advance at all. In fact, the resale value may be as little as 20 percent of the aboriginal bulk tag, which wraps in the cost of added materials, labor, business and alike the store’s operating costs. (Ouch.) Plus, like abounding commodities, prices alter with accumulation and demand. So aloof because an adjudicator admired your arena at $15,000 doesn’t beggarly you’d absolutely acquisition a accommodating client to pay that.

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All that said, the absolute acumen I ditched an assurance arena wasn’t for a feminist account or abridgement of advance opportunity. I’ve spent years acquirements how to atrociously accent putting money against things I value, rather than what association says I should. I apperceive that I bulk travel, active in a above city, the adaptability of actuality self-employed and actuality able to allow a pet. I’ve never valued appearance or jewelry—so why alpha now?

This hit me afterwards a few months of because and aggravating on assorted rings with my fiancé. I told him it’d be antic for him to spend $5,000 (the boilerplate bulk spent on engagements rings) or added for commodity I didn’t absolutely want. Instead, we’ve appropriately absitively to repurpose the arena money to buy a simple bells bandage and to pay for our honeymoon—an acquaintance we’ll both bethink forever.

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