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YOUR FAMILY MATTERS with PASTOR CHANDAIN THE aftermost few years, with the appearance of amusing media, we acquire been deluged with photos of adolescent American males on their knees hasty a adult they acquire been allure with an assurance ring. The affable abruptness on the lady’s face is admirable to see.

The abode area the angle for assurance is demography abode is usually scenic. At times, it is an accident area added accompany are present. A cameraman is hidden abroad and at the appropriate time zooms assimilate the break and catches the surprise…or so we are fabricated to believe.

Pardon my unbelief. It is my apprehensive mind. I tend to brainstorm what would appear if she said, “No”. I assumption she would not do so because the absolute angle was already accustomed and the accord is already headed appear marriage. This is alone the giving of the ring!If that is the case, again why is the man on his knees with the arena asking, “Will you ally me?” What was the aboriginal angle for—to artlessly be his girlfriend? Should he not be asking, “Will you acquire this assurance arena from my hand?” I am alone asking.This convenance has jumped beyond the ocean and has now become accepted convenance amid our adolescent bodies in Zambia. On amusing media we see photos of adolescent Zambian men on their knees “surprising” adolescent ladies they are allure with assurance rings.The branch is, “She said, ‘Yes!’” I do not appetite to blemish the credible abruptness aspect but I artlessly appetite to do some loud cerebration to see how this American convenance fits into our cultural norms actuality in Africa. Will you do some cerebration aloud calm with me?Here in Africa, although a man and a woman may arise courting through a angle of love, annihilation is academic until the man’s ancestors sends a agent to the woman’s ancestors to ask for their daughter’s duke in marriage. That is an all-important step.In some tribes, this appointment involves the demography of plates (with some badge money inside). The woman’s ancestors will alarm their babe into the affair to acquaint her that they acquire accustomed official allusion of a man absent to ally her. She has to acquire this proposal.That absolute action ends with a academic assurance of the lady. No added agent can be entertained for that daughter. She is appointed to get affiliated to the man who beatific the go-between. The two families can now alpha alive calm appear the bells event.Here is the catch-22 situation. If the man surprises the woman with an assurance arena and she accepts it above-mentioned to this academic assurance process, he would be disrespecting his approaching parents-in-law. How cartel he appoint their babe after afterward due process?If the man begins with the academic assurance process, again the abruptness aspect goes up in smoke. How can he abruptness the adult back she was already alleged into a affair with his agent area she had to say to her parents, “Yes, I appetite to get affiliated to him.”In adjustment to accumulate the abruptness element, some men acquire acquired permission from their approaching fathers-in-law to put an assurance arena on a lady’s feel afore the academic action of assurance begins. Some fathers acquire burst agreement and accustomed this to happen.It is basic for parents to accumulate first-things-first. To do abroad with an absolute cultural barometer for the account of a she-said-yes “surprise” seems to me to be like Emperor Nero who played the dabble while Rome burned. Giving abroad a babe in alliance is a actual austere matter.In the Western world, accepting affiliated is alone a amount amid two individuals. The ancestors alone gets informed. The aftereffect is an acutely aerial annulment amount because there is no amusing assurance net from the family. For the account of the family, we should not go that way.It will be acceptable to apprehend what others anticipate about this. I am acquainted that for abounding people, in both the Western apple and in Africa, the “surprise” aspect is false. It is for amusing media effect. The man and the woman plan the “surprise” together. She alike chooses the ring!For admonition or animadversion address to: reverendchanda@yahoo.comOr alarm or accelerate a argument to 0974250084

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