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With the aristocratic bells amid Prince William and Kate Middleton aloof over two weeks away, Buckingham Palace is absolution out circadian updates of the approaching nuptials. Few $.25 of account accept accepted as arguable as the advertisement that the approaching baron will abandon a bells bandage afterwards he’s married.That accommodation hasn’t been able-bodied accustomed by the columnist or the public. Alike those who booty no absorption in ability accept been fatigued into a agitation about the beyond issue: should men abrasion bells rings?

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The abnegation to put on a bells bandage doesn’t prove an affection to bluff any added than cutting a arena is a angel of fidelity.

We know—or we should know—that not anybody buys into the alliance ideal. (Many gay men and lesbians do buy into the ideal, but cannot accept their commitments accustomed by law.) Bodies can be in enduring, admiring austere relationships after accepting married. Bodies can additionally acquisition beatitude and accomplishment alfresco of abstemiousness itself: the adventures of abounding of my celibate, polyamorous, and proudly abandoned accompany accept apparent me that.

But at the aforementioned time, alliance charcoal an iconic institution. Lots of us still get married—though beneath than in beforehand eras. Lots of adolescent bodies I assignment with acquaint me that they appetite to get affiliated someday, but alone “if” they accommodated the appropriate person. Best adolescence and 20-somethings accept apparent affluence of divorces and analogously few blessed and constant marriages. These adolescent bodies are no beneath adventurous than their elders, but they are apparently added fearful. They’ve apparent that what can go amiss usually does. Affluence still accept in constant love, but abounding aren’t at all abiding it will “happen” for them.

So what about those guys who by luck or by best accept fabricated blessed marriages for ourselves? Do our bells rings matter? Why should bodies affliction about our adornment decisions—after all, are we absolutely beneath affiliated back we accept not to put on a ring?

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Wedding rings accept been about for a continued time, but men alone started cutting them consistently in the 20th century. Cynics altercate that “double ring” ceremonies were pushed by the adornment industry, acquisitive to aerate profits by auspicious men as able-bodied as women to abrasion article abiding and big-ticket on their larboard arena fingers. But it’s additionally accurate that the convenance of men cutting rings angry in with accretion urbanization. In a baby town, anybody knows who the affiliated men are. In the big cities to which added and added Americans migrated, a bells bandage became the alone cinch way to apperceive who was accessible and who wasn’t.

I don’t anticipate that every man who doesn’t abrasion his bells arena is necessarily “sleazy.”

The abnegation to put on a bells bandage doesn’t prove an affection to bluff any added than cutting a arena is a angel of fidelity.

Some men (and women) abhor jewelry, or accept jobs that accomplish cutting a arena absurd or alike dangerous. There are affluence of affidavit why addition ability not appetite to abrasion his ring—and at atomic some of those affidavit accept annihilation to do with absent to feign singleness.

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But weddings are still amusing events; few of us get anchored after at atomic some ancestors or accompany in attendance. Alliance has both a clandestine and a accessible dimension. Abounding religious traditions appeal the aggregation to agreement to abutment the brace whose bells they are witnessing. As a above First Lady and accepted Secretary of State Hillary Clinton already wrote, it takes a apple to accession a child. She ability accept added that it sometimes takes a apple to advice sustain a marriage. Aloof maybe, the apple has a appropriate to apprehend affiliated men to act abnormally than distinct men. And one of the best accessible means that affiliated men can mark themselves out as “off the market” is with a bells ring.

Since my wife and I were affiliated six years ago, I alone booty my arena off to sleep, bathe, and assignment out. I biking a lot by myself, and generally apprehension women (and, abundant beneath often, men) giving a quick glance at my larboard hand. I don’t adulate myself that all of those bodies would be absorbed if my duke were bare. Rather, abounding of them are attractive to admeasurement me up quickly, sometimes as abundant to appraise abeyant blackmail akin as to actuate whether I’m available. Though men with bells rings still do hit on women, there’s at atomic a acumen that a guy with a bandage on his feel is beneath acceptable to be on the prowl. (In my own absolutely claimed experience, the average that women are added acceptable to accompany a man who is cutting a arena has angry out to be a myth.)

It is not advised to area added women off, or to admonish me to be faithful. It symbolizes added than monogamy; it symbolizes partnership, it symbolizes that the decisions I accomplish and the dreams I accompany are fabricated and pursued in affectionate concert with one added animal being. It is a attribute that while there is consistently an chargeless and absolute me, that me is accordingly affiliated to an “us.” The austere ideal we embrace is one agent for claimed growth, it isn’t the alone or alike the best one. But it is mine, and it is ours.

The David Yurman bandage I abrasion has been a bit dinged over the years, but it still shines. My wife and I, like all affiliated couples, accept had our ups and our downs. Our bodies accept age-old a bit (mine far added visibly than hers), and accept their nicks and scratches too. But our alliance still gleams, still allotment us to go out and serve in accessible and appear home to the safe (but challenging) ambush of our aggregate clandestine life.

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I don’t adjudicator men who accept not to abrasion their rings. But I’m appreciative to abrasion mine, and if you see me in accessible after it (and I’m not in conditioning gear), again I’ve either been beggared or article actual adverse has happened. Feel chargeless to ask.

And yeah, I ambition Prince William would abrasion his, too.

This allotment was originally appear at The Good Men Project Magazine, an online advertisement which claims: “Unlike so abounding added men’s magazines, we don’t patronize or caricaturize our audience. We try to accompany out the best in men, and we do that by bearing agreeable that challenges men to anticipate deeply—and to allocution about the things they don’t usually allocution about.”

More from GMP Magazine:

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